Put on bathing suit.

Look at mirror.

Suck in.

Suck in and twist.

Flex.

Stop breathing.

Exhale.

Sigh.

Remove bathing suit.

Repeat.

Do this enough times and you’ll come to a point where you just cry.

Maybe you shouldn’t have taken that rest day on Tuesday.

You look at the time and realize you can squeeze in a run for the day.

The fitspos of Instagram are mocking you.

Some girl is on there promoting a product and falsely encouraging everyone to look like her.

Except, we can’t.

Not because we aren’t as dedicated, but because we aren’t anyone except for ourselves..

AND THAT’S OKAY.

My hips will never be wider than my shoulders. That’s okay.

The only thing impressive I will ever have on my chest are my pecs. That’s okay.

I will always store fat in my torso. That’s okay.

I will never be over 5’3″. That’s okay.

My thighs will always touch. That’s okay.

I will always look like a version of myself. That’s okay.

Get Off the Hamster Wheel 

I changed gears to focus on performance-based goals after I realized I was chasing something I could never catch.

What good is a 6-pack if my core couldn’t support heavy squats or do a set of pull-ups?

The way you look is variable, but your commitment to perform better isn’t. You can always do better no matter if its lifting heavier, running faster or jumping higher.

I used to think losing weight was the hard part. But actually, positive self talk is really easy when you’re melting into societal expectations.

The hard part is allowing the body to settle into its strongest self, That means letting go of rigid diets, disordered self images and exercising as a means of maximizing your daily calorie burn.

Honestly, I am not always comfortable with my slowly changing body, but I will be one day.

 

**UPDATE (Feb 2018): Months after I posted this blog my progress came to a halt.  I wasn’t able to overcome the stress of not doing excessive cardio and keeping my weight down. November 2016 I gave it another shot and was able to gain 10lbs in a year, while adding 140 lbs total to my squat, bench, deadlift. I eat what I want and also look pretty rad.**