“What a creep. He asked if I needed a spot for my squats”
So you want to be friends with, or more-than-friends with, a woman at your gym. However, being a male, you have the choice of either never approaching her, or risking being labelled as the gym creep or a**hole forever.
So today we ask the age old question:
“How does one engage in conversation with a female at the gym?”
I have compiled a comprehensive list of things that will surely get you a one way ticket to the “stay away from that guy” zone.
Ask if she needs a spot, unless you see her actively asking around
Mansplain. Especially without having ever spoken to her about her experience/methods/goals
Assume she is single because she lifts alone.
Ask her if she is working on her summer body
Ask her when her bulk is ending or when she will start cutting
Silently stare at her between sets or warm up
Take the dumbbell beside her assuming it’s too heavy
Refer to any part of her as “toned and tight.” *vomits*
Say “that’s a lot of weight for a little girl” or “I have never seen a blonde powerlifter before” *literally wtf*
Ask if her boyfriend is okay with her being so muscular
Ask her how many more sets she has left even though she just started benching and the 200 pound dude beside her will probably finish sooner
Tell her the lift looked strong, compliment the form etc
Compliment her discipline
Tell her she’s got nicer quads than you, because she probably does
Ask her where she bought her bag, shoes, socks, belt, liquid chalk etc
Congratulate her on an achievement
Offer her food, candy, baked goods (extra points)
Give constructive advice framed in a positive way on topics you are qualified through experience to speak about:
Ex. “your deadlift looked really good but would you mind if I offer a cue that helped me for pulling conventional for high reps” – someone with a strong conventional pull
Summation: treat her like you would treat anyone else. Be respectful, and do not assume anything.
The gym should be a shared, positive space for everyone. And if she wants you to back off, back off.